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TOPIC: Would love some feedback on my new book

Would love some feedback on my new book 3 years 7 months ago #20771

  • velchrome
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Writing has always been my first love until I found music
You may have heard my music which can be pretty crazy. soundcloud.com/ericshira
But I'm new to music.
Writing I have been doing since I was pretty small. Now I'm getting pretty serious about it heading intp the non-fiction side of writing..
www.amazon.com/Mistaken-Angels-Eric-Shir...=mistaken+for+angels
On tracks people are really insightful and there's a nice community vibe about it. If you would like to read a couple chapters I would love to hear what you think. Can be found on the link above. Just click on the look inside button.If you really dig it as a reward I could send you at least a digital copy.
Thanks,
Eric
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Would love some feedback on my new book 3 years 2 months ago #22578

  • AlexChicago
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Dear Eric,

I took a peek at your book. I like the beginning. Those first words seem to ring well with me too.

I can tell that you have been writing for a long time. It shows. The positive observation I wanted to make is that you seem to be using some of the skills that have bee brought over from the genre known as flash fiction. And this is very good. Seems no one is allowed to write nowadays unless they sound more or less "flashy". Ha! Reader preferences doth change, guv'nor. Readers've been spoiled now.

Hey, dude, I am into some writing too, unpublished yet, and also a long way from completion. I would consider running some of my pages by you, as I keep developing my text. It will take me some time to feel that something I've got is good enough to show.

I'm also brand new here. I know nothing about music production yet. The questions "Do you have a studio?", and "What equipment you got?" sound like a dream to me. I am hoping to use this site's tutorials as a substitute for some real schooling in this, which I can't afford at the moment. But alas, it seems that one has to sign up for the paid membership in order to access the tutorials. Oh well. Suck is life! I'm waiting for next calendar year to start my paid subscription because I want this fast-moving and surprising year, The Year of the Horse, to be over first. (Hey, remember the James Bond movie where he was shown a horse and that horse's name was "Inferno"? Ha ha. That's what this year has been like for me so far, and I am focusing all my attention to keep Inferno from bumping me off on a low-lying branch.)

I got the book named "Sun Signs for Writers". I am a Taurus. I am supposed to be the book-finisher, no matter what. And good thing too, because with that written about me, I 'd hate to give up and spoil my own reputation. If you wanna tell me what sign you are, I'll type on here for you the highlights of what it says about you as a writer.

Hey, since you are good at doing things briefly with your writing, let me venture to share here the name of one book which I keep by my desk-side to refer to when I get too long-winded, which is often. It is a little book titled "Familiarity is the Kingdom of the Lost" by Dugmore Boethe, Edited and an afterword by Barney Simon.

I sometimes like to do something funny and interesting with this book. I show one paragraph from it to what would pass for ordinary people, like other eaters at a Chinese buffet, or counter workers at some non-big-brand food joint. When I show them this following paragraph, I love to see the remarks they make. Some of them repeat the name of the book five times to themselves, vowing to remember it so they can go get it, ha ha. So here is what is to me the most striking paragraph I have ever seen in my life:

"
'Say "mother"! Go on, say "mother", you son of a bitch!'
Wham! Wham! went the leather strap.
'Say "mother", damn you! Louder, you little bastard, louder!' she shrieked.
The strap went wild all over my face, head, and neck. It was as if she was suffering more than me.
My mouth opened, and instead of the word "mother", a clot of blood rolled out. It was followed by a distinct 'Futsek!'. She shrieked and swung a frying pan, cracking four of my ribs. I pushed and her skinny body fell to the greedy flames of a healthy fire-gallery.
Maybe I had broken her back, or maybe she was just too exhausted to lift herself. Anyway, my mother just fried and fried and fried...
"

And the ellipsies were there in the original writing, (not because I left out something).

Buh-dee, buh-dee, that's all I got for now, folks. :)

Sincerely,
AlexChicago
Last Edit: 3 years 2 months ago by AlexChicago. Reason: So I can check the box to be notified of replies to this topic.
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